Monday, February 26, 2007

Are there perks to being a wallflower?

First of all SORRRRRY. I know i've probably been the crappiest un-poster of them all, so i'm here to redeem myself. So let's see... things have been busy there's been work and school and of couse the Jamiacan party..first timer woot woot! Then Andrew and i decided to go to the library on Thursday and it ended up being really great after about a half an hour of browsing (ohh i figured out why i don't use periods...it's because their too final i get on a roll and i feel like if i end the sentence the story won't make sense, but really i think it makes it more confusing) i wasn't really finding anything, then i remebered a book that someone recommended to me, and looked it up and sure enough it was there. I could not put the thing down, i read about 10 pages at the library, then i wanted to save it. I've never, ever read something that was so good i wanted to "save it". We originally went to look for books to take on our Hawking Hills trip but then i ended up finishing the next day on Friday. It was good in a weird way if that makes sense,the narrator was so captivating he had such a rare technique, he wrote in letters. The entire book is just letter after letter of him writing to the reader,i think thats why i liked it so much, i felt like i was in a room just listening to him tell me about his life. It was all over the place and about this boy (the narrarator) who was mature and smart way beyond his years but doesn't ever recognize it (i'm still trying to figure it out but this is my take on it) instead he repeatedly asks himself what's wrong with him. But basically he goes through highschool and actually deals with it quite confidently he get's made fun of but it never really seems to effect him. Although he and the book never mention it straightforward, he has serious depression. I think that's why he got through highschool, he was so depressed he was just kind of in a daze all the time but it's not like he's out of it he just looks at the world a completely different way. The weirdest part is that the person who reccomended it too me, seems to have the same excact life as the narrarator. Although the narrarator is a boy and she's a girl it's uncanny. Charlie(the narrarator) lives in pittsburgh and his sister goes to Penn state. Same with the girl only her brother's going to Penn State and she lives in pittsburgh. The brothers in both the book and my friends life are huge athletes and working towards the pros, only one is into baseball and the other into football. Then the girl is going to school to be a writer and i've read some of her stuff and it's amazing then of course Charlie is a writer as well in the story. The weirdest part of all is that Charlie chooses to keep himself annonymous and the other characters annonymous by giving them made up names. Did she copy her life from this book and live by it? Or did the writer of "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower" write from this girls life? Or is just completely uncanny? I don't know but it's crrrazy. I want to end with a poem in the book. To give a little background, in the book Charlie decides to read this poem to his friend Patrick at their christmas exchange(thats probably irrelevant but oh well):

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
He wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of it's new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
His mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it

Once in a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question "
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostles creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of the brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutley Nothing"
Because thats what it really was all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each wrist
And he hung it up on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

(Then it ends with Charlie finishing his letter like this):

That was the poem i read for Patrick. Nobody knew who wrote it, but Bob said he heard it before, and heard that it was some kid's suicide note. I really hope it wasn't because then i don't know if i like the ending.
Love Always,
Charlie

Charlie was so deep in his depression, he couldn't even decipher if that was a suicide note or not, at least that was the way i took it...oh well i guess you'll all have to read.

6 comments:

Andrew said...

Glad to see you posted, I really want to read that book now. Can I borrow it? I am sitting next to you right now so I will just ask you, or take it from you.

Laura said...

I love the poem at the end of your writings, it strikes a wierd nerve in me. I guess that everyone kinda reaches that point where they think no one cares and then they lose some faith in life. They think that life is absurd and there is no meaning and what else is there to do? I think that I have been in Philosophy class too much! We've been talking about suicide for the past 1/2 semester and it is a crazy thing. Anywho...great to read your stuff!

Sam said...

I was talking to a guy about you today. You don't know him, so you don't have to worry about me talking behind your back. Anyway, I was saying how you amaze me sometimes. You can be so flighty, forgetting stories you keep re-telling, laughing at your own made up swear words, and so much more. But then you get so deep, or say something so profound, that you sound like you should be twice as old as you are. I don't say any of this in a demeaning way, I'm saying it as a compliment. I think that anyone who has the fortune to cross your life path will be the better for it. Thanks for sharing. And keep doing so. We need to hear what you have to say.

Chel said...

Lynds,

You are really amazing! I enjoy reading your blog, and it was very thought provoking! I think you get the run on sentence thing from me, sorry! I agree with SAm, in a good way.. Keep writing!

Brad B... said...

WOW... that is an awesome poem... and weird that someone would write a suicide note in the form of a poem... interesting... i have to read this book now... great post...

Brad B... said...

hey why dont you do the damn thing already... i know you have a post about hocking hills.. do it... you r crappy...