Jump In

So it has been sooo long! My life has been so busy lately School is amazing i love it our class gets along really well and everyones really supportive of eachother, i love the enviroment i love learning little inside things like that nicolas cage wears hair plugs, this is definetely what i want to do with my life, i am starting to feel like...like... something ( i can't think of a good analogy for this one) but i'm learning all this stuff and i feel so creative probably the most creative i've felt for a long time and i can't put my own spin on it i want to take the techniques we learn and put someting different in it so, it comes from me, now i know what hairstylists meant by "hair school is jail". Like the other day, this past saturday i got to have Andrew come in for my men's cut model and i did my thing and i was pretty proud of myself i thought it looked pretty good and he liked it ( because the day before i practiced on my mannequin and it didn't well let's just say turn out) so anyway my instructor came to check my progress and then began to snip away, not that i messed up but it wasn't excactly following the "technique". I'm over it now but at the time i was so mad she had just taken my art and flushed it down the toilet, through it out the window...she crapped on my heart. Maybe i'm being a little dramatic but i was upset. It turned out okay but i couldn't get the image of what i HAD out of my head... to resolve: all of andrew's and anyone else i care about, their hair will be done at home until school is over. Also i miss everyone very much, i can't wait for us to come home for christmas! Sam, Laura, and Brad all came last weekend to visit for Andrew's birthday it was so much fun we saw sites, ate at some really cool pizza shops and just plain old had fun, i wish we lived just a little closer so we could do that more often I love you guys...!
Lately i've been on the job hunt today i applied at Urban Outfitters i hope i get it because it seems like a really cool place to work and i've been loking into this Yoga place where you can trade work for classes annnnnd i've been looking into the Guthrie theatre to see if i could maybe get an internship working with theatre makeup. This city is so amazing, i forget sometimes how cool of a place it is, yesterday Andrew and I found this really cool lake it's called lake calhoun there's boating and swimming, and runners, and picnics all over the place, it is such a cool spot It reminds me of lake culver there's this gorgeous lake and then huge houses surrounding it. Sorry all of this is so random but it's just going to get worse from here. I watched garden state the other day this my all time favorite movie i get something new out of it everytime i watch it is just so good, at the end (don't read if you want to see it) The main character is leaving home to go back to LA where he lives now, he's leaving his family his new love interest and his friends, the love interest goes to the airport to see him off and she's having a really hard time, but he's calm His flight is called and they seperate, then cue the music Let go by Frou Frou begins to play (amazing song, the soundtrack to this movie is unbelieveable) then he ditches the plane and decides to stay Anyways i guess what i'm getting at is the ending of this movie and this perfect song playing together it's just an amazing moment and it's how i want to live my life no holding back i want to let go and jump in to whatever i encounter everyone needs to see this movie it'll change your life.

A stroll down random lane

1. I love full house, i still have a crush on Unle Jesse.

2. I wish careers weren't the main center of life, if we didn't have to work i feel like we could live more naturally, be with who we wanted to be with, live wherever we wanted to and whenever we wanted to.

3. Sometimes when i'm in a bad mood, i just go around the house, turn on all the lights and then i feel better, i guess the light makes me happy.

4. I was in karate for almost a year, when i was eight,then one day a boy was teasing me and i punched him in the stomach, then i learned, "that's not self defense".

5. Ok i'm wasting all my random facts on karate, but this is kind of funny, after a couple weeks (before number 4) i decided to try out my new moves on my great uncle, (geez that sounds bad now that i write it) but anyway i ended up giving him some rendition of a round house kick to the face and since then i've really tried to stay away from karate....i don't think it's my thing.

6. I absolutely hate being lonely, i would rather live in a cardboard box with all my friends around, than live in a huge lonely mansion and have all the money in the world.

7. I love riding my bike in the city, it's a crazy rush, especially when you turn left.

8. I want to be a famous makeup atrist, but behind the scenes, i don't want anyone to know what i look like.

It's like i'm on an episode of Mr.Rogers gone wrong

Oh in case you were all on the edge of your seat wondering about more of our neighbors, we finally saw another one. But probably would have been happier if we didn't. He lives on the first floor, right next to the stairs we have to go down to exit the apartment. Anyway the other day he was sitting on those stairs playing with his kitty yes kitty and i say kitty because that's how he talks because he uhhhm well likes boys. But we could see inside and it was filled with material drapings and was very dim lit just about the scariest place i've ever seen i hope he doesn't grab Andrew coming down the stairs one of these days ahh.
But i decided to give all the neighbors we've seen so far names so here they are:
neighbor1:First floor, smokey old man(described in last blog)-POCHAHONTAS
neighbor2:First floor,creepy kitty guy-FOR THE LOVE OF TAPESTRY
neighbor3:second floor, tattoed guy, this is because he sold us the air conditioner and he has a little gangster flare-COOL J

Wusss up beautiful

Right now i'm sitting in a coffee shop excactly one block away from my new apartment.Oh and on the way here i had my first half scary experience i was just crossing the street and a snoop dogg looking man gave me a head nod and a "Wus up beautiful". I was actually excited to have the experience, when i told Andrew, he was like are you okay? hhah.The coffee shop is a really cool place aside the fact that the barista is a little creepy..not freaks you out creepy, i'm fine sitting in here by myself, but the creepy where he seems like he always takes deep breaths like he's going to talk but never says anything. Oh and i think it's the above 65 hang out andrew and i came here saturday night and about 8 elderly couples were sitting around watching concerts on tv. But they do make a mean iced latte. Things have been pretty chill we went grocery shopping twice already so we should be set for like 5 years. But it did suck because we went to target first then wal-mart and spent way too much at target. Yesterday it stormed like crazy, car alarms were going off! We definetely live in the part of city that's in movies..our street is the main street to the Hennepin Hospital so there's ambulances all the time. But i like it the noise doesn't bother me. The apartments are super cool but mine of course takes the cake so far...andrew thinks so too. We haven't seen much of our neighbors except the nice tattooed mexican man we bought a air conditioner off of, and the best neighbor yet is the old man on the first floor he smokes like a chimney, his clothes and windows are yellow stained and he wears a bandana around his head all rolled up like pochahontas(definitely spelled that wrong) style but he is a white man. ( I'm startng to sound racist but i'm just trying to be descriptive so you can imagine a little better), and when he opens his door it smells like death. Thats all of the neighbors we've seen, and today is going to be the first time we take a long walk downtown since we've been here. Oh the first day was craziness when we first arrived at the apartment i had to be to orientation in an hour, so my dad and i (mostly my dad) put up my shower curtain and i jumped in and then my mom drove me down to Aveda which is only seven minutes away. Orientation was BORINGGGG I first walked in and then made my way up to the fourth floor, the building is amazing it must have been like an old ballroom because the staircase is fantastic it has gold banisters and all marble flooring but then it has a modern twist so it's amazing. Once i got to the 4th there were probably 60 girls and maybe 5 guys we all got signed in then we made our way to the "Great Room" and it was great it looked like an old theater i'm exccited to see what we'll use it for. Then the Admissions rep began to talk and they showed us a video of the history of Aveda. Which was very cool i actually really liked it. Then came the crappy part we had to pick a partner, learn three things about them, then introduce them to the whole class. It wasn't so bad seeing as my partner was pretty cool i learned she was from South Dakota, has 2 cats, and has two different colored eyebrows....naturally. Then the speaker talked some more and then we all had to sit around for about an hour or so as we each handed in our checks. Then played a final lame game and were sent on our way. I'm excited to start it should be super fun. Let's see what else oh the showers kind of stink i'm way to tall for it my head sticks above the shower curtain and what else? we live on 3 blocks from the twins stadium! and there are skyscrapers only 2 blocks away. I'm excited to get a little rough on my edges and to tell lots of stories but i'm going to be homesick for a while....i miss my friendsss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you guys!
I'm officially a city girl woo hoo!

money money moneeeeey..... monnnnehhh!

I don't have any real reason i titled this the way i did but my friends and i have all been singing it lately and i thought they would get a kick out of it. Plus it's kind of ironic because none of us have it. Or is it ironic? I guess you could take it more of as if i'm screaming for money when i sing it than celebrating over it. But i don't truly know because that is the only line i know from that song...how's the rest go? Besides that the best part about that song is no matter where or when you sing it, someone will always join in or finish the line, i even started it at a funeral once and someone actually finshed it! No i lied but it's almost that extreme. I think my point is that what's the big deal? (with money, if you haven't caught my drift yet)i mean we almost waste our whole lives for it. We work hard in school so we can get into college so we can get a job i don't know maybe it's suppose to build character(i can never spell that word,mannn) but if we wait our whole lives to do things we reeeeeaally want to do because we need money then by the time we finally get in the financial situation we want to be in we're too old to that thing anyway. Why doesn't money grow on trees? and why can't we just live our lives by taking each day as it is? I guess i kind of did have a reason for my titleage(yep i made that word up just now)(tight-ill-edge) without even meaning to.
Money should be free.
..but i guess the big picture is we probably wouldn't be motivated without it.
All i know is that when i win the lottery and i'm sitting in my mansion with all my friends i'm going to sing it non stop and if anyone says anything different..well i don't know yet but i'll be rich enough to have someone else have to think about that for me.

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

I think i'll post about normal stuff this time i don't have a particular topic but sometimes the best stories spark from normal life stuff. So let's start at the beginning.Well i was born in Youngstown, no i'm just kidding (i'm only posting about these past few weeks..... gotcha though)That's probably my favorite movie scene ever in Goonies when their "interogating" Chunk and they ask him to start at the beginning(only wanting what happened that day) and he starts telling his whole life story. Anywaaaaaaay let's see oh we went to Taste of Chaos, last weekend? and it was really good i was a little disappointed there wasn't as much energy as i expected but i still loved it and plus it was funny to watch how much fans bow down to their favorite bands like when they cheer for ridiculous questions lead singers ask and plus the 10 year old couple infront of us was making out and that was always entertaining...you know a dull moment in the concert we could always go back to watching them go at it brrrrrrrhhhhh. The car ride was awesome and so were Andrew,Laura, and Brad and we missed Sam and couldn't find him a keychain after searching for days and weeks and actually a whole month yes it's true we stayed there a whole month to search for him(i might be exaggerating). Uhhhmm i've been reading a lot of Literature and i'm actually into it i like all the stories even though almost all of the writers were very depressed and end up dying so sometimes it's kind of depressing..it's weird how when i was in school i did all of my work to get done and never really truly listened now that i'm homeschooled i do so much better because i'm more open minded (i think that's what's happening)...yep that's it because i remember when i first really started listening to music i realized i could be open to anything even if it is ganster rap because i think artists have some cool stuff to say no matter what.... even if their chains hang low and their grills shine in the light. (this is escalated quickly). Oh i have a spat i have to go on for a second(is spat the right word?), stupid girls annoy me it sounds immature but i refuse to be demanded to "love pink" ( messages bouncing back and forth coming from the chest and butt area) and what in the heck is "flossy, flossy" okay i'll admit i make up my own words but flossy what does that even mean? I mean we all obviously know what fug is but flossy i'm not
getting it. Maybe like she's clean like after you floss your teeth clean i don't know if that's it then that is so ridiculous. I got my wisdom teeth out and it went suprisingly well nothing major i was out in excactly 7 seconds like the doctor predicted and got to enjoy the high for about one of those seconds (not that i want to be high i just thought that would be funny to say). I think that's about it maybe next will be a little more productive. Sorry it's short but i don't have anything more clever and witty to say.

Do people really hock on these hills?...that's weird.

WOW that was the lamest title yet haha (but obvioulsy i thought it was pretty clever because i left it)
A few weeks ago my friends and i went on amazing trip to hocking hills. We hiked and saw waterfalls and had more falls ourselves. But i will say i didn't fall the whole time but i better knock on wood because someones going to come out and push me now. Although we saw some pretty amazing things and went to even cooler ones, the best part was the company our crazy awful dances and making dinner at the house were the best parts. I know that place is just not fun without the people you love. I think it's the same going anywhere, moving away because you think the state you live in is shisty(my made up word)(shy-stee)or going on vacation to get away...but don't we always write letters saying wish you were here? Ohhhh i don't know i'm kind of losing my train of thought and can't write but i think what i'm trying to say is I love my friends and my family and i'm pretty scared of growing up but that's another topic for a different century because that's how long it would take me to write about it hhahah. But it was great and their awesome.

Are there perks to being a wallflower?

First of all SORRRRRY. I know i've probably been the crappiest un-poster of them all, so i'm here to redeem myself. So let's see... things have been busy there's been work and school and of couse the Jamiacan party..first timer woot woot! Then Andrew and i decided to go to the library on Thursday and it ended up being really great after about a half an hour of browsing (ohh i figured out why i don't use periods...it's because their too final i get on a roll and i feel like if i end the sentence the story won't make sense, but really i think it makes it more confusing) i wasn't really finding anything, then i remebered a book that someone recommended to me, and looked it up and sure enough it was there. I could not put the thing down, i read about 10 pages at the library, then i wanted to save it. I've never, ever read something that was so good i wanted to "save it". We originally went to look for books to take on our Hawking Hills trip but then i ended up finishing the next day on Friday. It was good in a weird way if that makes sense,the narrator was so captivating he had such a rare technique, he wrote in letters. The entire book is just letter after letter of him writing to the reader,i think thats why i liked it so much, i felt like i was in a room just listening to him tell me about his life. It was all over the place and about this boy (the narrarator) who was mature and smart way beyond his years but doesn't ever recognize it (i'm still trying to figure it out but this is my take on it) instead he repeatedly asks himself what's wrong with him. But basically he goes through highschool and actually deals with it quite confidently he get's made fun of but it never really seems to effect him. Although he and the book never mention it straightforward, he has serious depression. I think that's why he got through highschool, he was so depressed he was just kind of in a daze all the time but it's not like he's out of it he just looks at the world a completely different way. The weirdest part is that the person who reccomended it too me, seems to have the same excact life as the narrarator. Although the narrarator is a boy and she's a girl it's uncanny. Charlie(the narrarator) lives in pittsburgh and his sister goes to Penn state. Same with the girl only her brother's going to Penn State and she lives in pittsburgh. The brothers in both the book and my friends life are huge athletes and working towards the pros, only one is into baseball and the other into football. Then the girl is going to school to be a writer and i've read some of her stuff and it's amazing then of course Charlie is a writer as well in the story. The weirdest part of all is that Charlie chooses to keep himself annonymous and the other characters annonymous by giving them made up names. Did she copy her life from this book and live by it? Or did the writer of "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower" write from this girls life? Or is just completely uncanny? I don't know but it's crrrazy. I want to end with a poem in the book. To give a little background, in the book Charlie decides to read this poem to his friend Patrick at their christmas exchange(thats probably irrelevant but oh well):

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
He wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of it's new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
His mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it

Once in a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question "
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostles creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of the brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutley Nothing"
Because thats what it really was all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each wrist
And he hung it up on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

(Then it ends with Charlie finishing his letter like this):

That was the poem i read for Patrick. Nobody knew who wrote it, but Bob said he heard it before, and heard that it was some kid's suicide note. I really hope it wasn't because then i don't know if i like the ending.
Love Always,
Charlie

Charlie was so deep in his depression, he couldn't even decipher if that was a suicide note or not, at least that was the way i took it...oh well i guess you'll all have to read.

struggle,struggle jab!

So i've been really struggling with posting a new blog nothing has crossed my mind at least of any significance for days! (hence the first struggle in my title). So i decided to just talk about my week a little bit. My school books finally came on monday? or tuesday? (you'd think it would be engraved in my brain since i've been waiting so long). Well here's the story, i started online school at the beginning of my junior year i guess because i wanted to finish early, Leetonia was a struggle (hence the second struggle,crap i'm running out of struggles) mainly because i can't shut up and the staff there is just ridiculous...so then began my online journey. It was ok at first, the courses seemed extremely hard and my family and i didn't know anything about choosing schools,but i got through it, so skip a year or so then we found out that the state had a free program big difference from paying a thousand dollars a year!! (Those explanation points are out of anger) To make this long story short there were continued arguments with Leetonia over receiving my transcripts,etc.,etc. and now I finally started this week with my new school...this week...this week!!!(also angry explanation points). But i have been working really hard and with three days into it i have almost 4 weeks completed now. I couldn't have done any of this without the love and support of Andrew,all the prayer and of the on and off help of my family. I'll be finsihed soon and i cannot wait to take that load off my back,thanks to it(the load) i have major back problems,a back like an 80 year old.But anyway that was the beginning of my week and to end it i had some more bank teller problemsSAM I APOLIGIZE NOW ..a few weeks ago i had some problems with Famers Bank,(the ladies were just rude and were always trying to get me to sign up for stuff)my loyal bank for three years. So i decided to close my account there out of annoyance (maybe my patience isn't the best it could be) and switch to National City and yesterday i went to cash a five dollar check i had gotten from my mom because i needed gas (i'm poor and i'm proud). So i arrived there yesterday and went to the door to discover the lobby was closed for no apparent reason, i was there at a decent time in the middle of the banks hours, annyway i reallllly needed some gas, i was lucky i made it through the drive thru. The line of course was huge, that didn't bother me, except for the fact that i could hear my gas tank getting ready to bubble forcing my car to turn off, which it didn't but it was getting closer. I sent through my 5 dollar check after some trouble with the "tube", i was pushing on it because i didn't realize it was automatic plainly stupid, and my fault but the teller continued to stare rudely at me not letting me know that the tube in fact, was automatic. Then i forgot to send through my account number or social security # but instead of asking me to send it through she rudely asked me for my social security # i had to repeat it several times because she wasn't writing it down and the man in the next lane was looking at me and listening! So i continued, and fought for my 5 dollars and finally got it and was so frustrated and annoyed, that i completely forgot to get gas i drove all the way home made it and have yet to go to the gas station.I forgot because i was screaming in my car that "i hate bank people" as i was screaming i decided to change my sentence and started screaming "No i hate all people" I truly don't hate ANYONE and i don't hate bankers at all. Granted most all of this was my complete fault but she didn't handle it right and that's what was so annoying to me. So i've decided i'm not too fond of banks as a whole(sam i love ya, no offense your amazing at your job) maybe it's me, but i'm still too frustrated to make a statement thats logical so i'll stick with it being the teller's fault and problem, maybe she was having a bad day and maybe i could have been nicer but i'm not an overly nice person i'm just a normally polite person a direct quote from andrew which by the way i'm pretty sure that teller is Andrews lover and i'm the girlfriend on the side.
Sorry i tend to ramble and usually end up with a huge run on sentence
Maybe next time i'll be more mature and admit to it being my fault but for now this makes me feel a lot better.
Hence the jab,(this entire last story)

i've been tagged!

3 Things That...
Scare me...the dark(yes i am 18), i guess just basically the unknown to sum it up,and being a lonely old person
People who make me laugh....Laura Shirey,Andrew,and my grandpa Mickey(not because he has funny jokes but just everything he does is hilarious.
I Love....Andrew,my amazing friends,and my Family
I Hate....Fake people,ridiculously rude people,and cocky sons of guns
I don't understand....My sister,my parents intentions,and God(in a good way)
On my desk...uh i don't have a desk but right now i'm sitting near a desk and theres scissors,coffee and paperclips(the essenstials of course)
What i'm doing right now......cutting out papers for the annual Dutch Village Inn christmas partttaayy
What i want to do before i die....travel the world possibly by backpack or just a sreies of roadtrips would be fun,be succesful in all aspects financially,emotionally,and physically,and get back to me on the third..
I can do well...talk to people,listen,and love
Always listen to....old people,your parents and really really smart peeps
Never listen to.....your parents(sometimes i feel like i'm the parent),the devil he's evil
I'd like to learn to ...be trilingual(japanese,french,and spanish)no reason i just think it would be awwwesome, be an amazing makeup artist,and to love everyone
Favorite foods....chinese food,mexican,and good ol' french fries
Shows i watched as a little guy.....i have an awful memory uhhhmmm..oh yeah ninja turtles was my favorite,thats all i can think of

I shed a tear?

As i researched the hanging of Saddam Hussein earlier this afternoon out of curiosity..(i avoided the whole thing up until earlier)I actually became overwhelmed as i watched the moments leading up to his death, with the thought of this man being hated by thousands, not at all that i sympathize with him, but to see someone so dark and so cold-hearted it actually broke my heart.I'm still trying to figure out what possesed him to behave in such a way that thousands were celebrating his death. I can't even begin to fathom the whole situation,i believe he deserved his punishment in every single way and also feel (although i didn't know him personally)he'll be paying for it for eternity.It still breaks my heart to think that someone did such an awful thing or series of things that we had no other choice but to destroy him. I'm also torn up for all the non-believers who are mad at God right now questioning him on how he could do such a "hateful" thing, but to all those, i believe there is a God and his heart is breaking just as much to know he handed over the controls to his child and he set it in motion..the wrong motion, but i'm also glad to learn from this and make a a baby step difference although it will be a small light it will still shine through the darkness,we need to stand up and be the change not just sit around and wait for it to happen....